She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
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I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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