smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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