i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
