Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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