Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
