There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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