The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
