So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
