Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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