There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My feet surprised me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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