you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
