what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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