Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
