found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
