come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
