I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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