how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize