i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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