Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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