This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
