; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
