I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
