You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
