i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
