She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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