i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
