The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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