after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
