is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
