That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize