The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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