k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
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I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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