I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
