Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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