I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
