I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
