She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
