I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
