Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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