last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
