We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
