Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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