My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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