All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
