all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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