Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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