I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
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Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's shark week go big or go home
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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