Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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