I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
