So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
