I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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