at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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