A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
