The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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