Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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