woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
