really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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