Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.

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  (206): Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night. http://tfl.nu/k8do
  Replies (15) Good night (567) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

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  (480): U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together http://tfl.nu/9vec
  Replies (14) Good night (566) Bad night (2021)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?

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  (250): Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep? http://tfl.nu/pboz
  Replies (41) Good night (887) Bad night (3324)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.

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  (214): It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way. http://tfl.nu/ycc8
  Replies (22) Good night (3333) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs

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  (860): letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs http://tfl.nu/yswk
  Replies (18) Good night (10562) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2789) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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  (979): I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system. http://tfl.nu/cus3
  Replies (14) Good night (1970) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.

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  (908): You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution. http://tfl.nu/9oem
  Replies (4) Good night (2371) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

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  (810): I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me. http://tfl.nu/noof
  Replies (10) Good night (554) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....

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  (310): We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries.... http://tfl.nu/y7n3
  Replies (9) Good night (904) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.

  (206): View more from Washington

  That would've been embarrassing.

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  (419): Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night. (206): That would've been embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/nb0e
  Replies (7) Good night (1082) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time

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  (517): Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time http://tfl.nu/cfap
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason

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  (310): Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason http://tfl.nu/dz7h
  Replies (5) Good night (420) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...

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  (310): I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now... http://tfl.nu/9bsa
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

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  (757): And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!" http://tfl.nu/qrns
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (169)

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