Texts From Last Night

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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (16) Good night (10587) Bad night (1253)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.

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  (484): It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever. http://tfl.nu/8zyq
  Replies (47) Good night (5291) Bad night (1564)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.

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  (401): my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie. http://tfl.nu/a7k2
  Replies (13) Good night (843) Bad night (3604)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"

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  (301): we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos" http://tfl.nu/vb8d
  Replies (9) Good night (5361) Bad night (1386)
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  (554): View more from

  No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted

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  (554): No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted http://tfl.nu/praq
  Replies (12) Good night (2285) Bad night (1098)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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  (570): He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help. http://tfl.nu/6hrq
  Replies (10) Good night (1181) Bad night (3682)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.

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  (214): Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman. http://tfl.nu/itkd
  Replies (15) Good night (1021) Bad night (3286)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.

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  (503): Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting. http://tfl.nu/fbmg
  Replies (6) Good night (2750) Bad night (573)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...

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  (780): Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it... http://tfl.nu/howp
  Replies (10) Good night (2946) Bad night (682)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?

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  (610): Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil? http://tfl.nu/j8sh
  Replies (5) Good night (1490) Bad night (621)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.

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  (812): I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can. http://tfl.nu/gz33
  Replies (24) Good night (765) Bad night (1660)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?

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  (207): Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park? http://tfl.nu/iybx
  Replies (9) Good night (1358) Bad night (849)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.

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  (570): My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think. http://tfl.nu/k90n
  Replies (7) Good night (572) Bad night (534)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions

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  (908): Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b? (340): It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions http://tfl.nu/22dq
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.

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  (619): This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for. http://tfl.nu/6gu4
  Replies (3) Good night (289) Bad night (470)

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