I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
