So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
