dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.