At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
