the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...