Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How's work?
Spinning.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
