She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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