The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
