i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize