I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The air taste purple.
Randomize
